Ruth Bader Ginsburg. . . Be A Little Deaf
“It helps sometimes to be a little deaf.
Last fall saw the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice of the United States for 27 years. No doubt, we would not agree with her on many important points. But even with those with whom we disagree, we can find points of agreement. For example, you might agree with her advice on handling “thoughtless or unkind words.”
Near the end of the preface to My Own Words, Ginsburg wrote:
Another often-asked question when I speak in public: “Do you have some good advice you might share with us?” Yes, I do. It comes from my savvy mother-in-law, advice she gave me on my wedding day. “In every good marriage,” she counseled, “it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” I have followed that advice assiduously, and not only at home through fifty-six years of a marital partnership nonpareil. I have employed it as well in every workplace, including the Supreme Court of the United States. When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.
Key Texts
1 Samuel 25:25 (ESV):
Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. But I your servant did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent.
Proverbs 12:16 (ESV):
The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.
Proverbs 14:29 (ESV):
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly
Proverbs 15:18 (ESV):
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
Proverbs 16:32 (ESV):
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Jas 1:19–20 (ESV):
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Key Topics
anger
persuasion
conflict
Source
Ginsburg, Ruth Bader. My Own Words (New York; Simon and Schuster, 2016), p. iv.
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